(no subject)
its sad that i have to interrupt my countdown but it has to be done.
i feel down, surveying the pieces of me that have broken, and those that are broken pieces of broken pieces. Its like a slight sickness, a tremor through the body, a pain. As like a great christian martyr said, hurting his wife and family was greater than any physical torment he was ever put through. I dont know how to feel, what emotions to express. Shall i cry and sob violently? Shall i sit and stare, show no emotion at all? Shall i supress them, and watch them come out later, more ferocious then when they were first felt?
i dont really know how to feel. Good intentions turn and slap you in the face, mistakes harp you till they bring you down. Is it shame? guilt? how about fear? oh God help me. i wish a life of the unconditional. You say i have not because i ask not.
now i ask... for grace.
i feel down, surveying the pieces of me that have broken, and those that are broken pieces of broken pieces. Its like a slight sickness, a tremor through the body, a pain. As like a great christian martyr said, hurting his wife and family was greater than any physical torment he was ever put through. I dont know how to feel, what emotions to express. Shall i cry and sob violently? Shall i sit and stare, show no emotion at all? Shall i supress them, and watch them come out later, more ferocious then when they were first felt?
i dont really know how to feel. Good intentions turn and slap you in the face, mistakes harp you till they bring you down. Is it shame? guilt? how about fear? oh God help me. i wish a life of the unconditional. You say i have not because i ask not.
now i ask... for grace.
*Hug*
Am here.
Sarz
Posted by
Anonymous |
4:06 PM